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Archive for the ‘Humour’ Category

Crocs…

Ho hum… nothing interesting happening lately that would merit a post in this blog (as if my entries are that interesting); I would, however, like to share this photo which was forwarded to me by, who else but my best buddy via email (but how else?)…

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Man, this picture kinda reminds me of our local “buwaya” (crocodiles). No, not the endangered reptiles that inhabit our vanishing swamps and rivers, but those of the uniformed variety found in urban areas. Like their toothy cousins in the wild, they are almost often seen hiding under the shades, always ready to pounce on unsuspecting motorists.

UPDATE: Just when I thought there wasn’t anything worthwhile to post today, turns out, my recent piece for the Philippine Online Chronicle just got published.

Know what is the “in” thing for celebrities/politicians these days? Going to school. That’s right, a slew of recent poll winners representing our local version of Tinseltown are hitting the books (but still short of burning the midnight oil), supposedly to show the naysayers and skeptics (and that would include yours truly) that this time around, they really mean business.

Preparation is the key, or so they say. And, as if to prove once and for all that there is indeed some spark of intelligence and wisdom underneath those glamorous facades, off they all went to one university that offers a crash course on, uhh… whatever that course is — tailor-made for busy, busy celebrities like them. Either that, or they probably just got tired of being looked down upon as a bunch of nitwits, out to play the biggest role of their lives.

Read more…

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Easy Riders…

I had a laugh, well, okay… a big laugh, after I saw these forwarded images in my inbox the other day. There’s no denying it, there really is a world of difference between the rich and the poor, as shown in these two pictures.

POOR

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RICH

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Two weeks ago I received a couple of funny pictures via e-mail, courtesy of best friend.

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Oi, this is so true. I’ve personally seen KFC patrons (students especially) pouring gallons of gravy over their rice, thereby creating a mini shortage of gravy inside the restaurant. Because of this, some KFC outlets now chain the gravy thermos to the wall.

Onli in da Pilipins…

Here’s another one that would make you think twice about leaving school…

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Okay, I think this one is definitely not taken in good old RP…

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Not that I’m a fan of Jolibee, but if I were them, I’d put a sign that says, “Take That, you stupid clown!”

PS: I’m not a big fan of McDonald’s either, but at least their burgers aren’t sweet.

And lastly, here’s one sign that would definitely make your driving day…

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Uh, so I guess I should “ternright” then?

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And now, for the un-funny side of life in these islands…

When some concerned groups and the equally-concerned public questioned the morality and the legality of ex-president Joseph Estrada’s presidential candidacy, the COMELEC replied, “We’ll just let the people decide“.

When there was public outcry about political dynasties hijacking the Party-List system for their own personal political gain, the COMELEC again said, “We’ll just let the people decide“.

Gee, I didn’t realize that the country’s premier electoral watchdog had that much faith in the Filipino voters.

Curiously, a few months back, the COMELEC, citing questions of morality, disqualified (for the second time) ANG LADLAD, a group seeking to represent the gay community.

In all their arrogance, the righteous dorks at the COMELEC took it upon themselves to “protect” the Filipino people against the supposed immoral lifestyle of gays; and yet at the same time, thought it was being “democratic” by allowing a convicted ex-president to run for president.

Double standards? you be the judge…

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Someone gave us a 2010 calendar a few days before the new year. It was one of those nicely printed calendars from China with the ‘year of the tiger’ theme that was filled with ornate paintings of, what else but… tigers!

Anyway, pretty as it is, what really caught my eye — as well as alerted the trying-hard grammar police in me — were the funny, and somewhat confusing English translations of the Chinese phrases — presumably placed there to “educate” the non-Chinese — printed on the calendar cover.

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Eh?

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Become rich? Ah well, a little optimism won’t hurt…

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It’s been more than a year since that fatal shootout in Paranaque that left several innocent people — including a father and his seven-year old daughter — dead, due to excessive and unwarranted use of force by the police. And yet, even after the investigations that followed, none of the cops involved in that incident were ever charged or suspended.

The Commission on Human Rights (CHR) in the meantime, recommended the filing of criminal charges on several trigger-happy police personnel, and administrative charges on their superiors for sitting on their fat asses.

They (the CHR) might as well be barking up the wrong tree if you ask me. The lack of response by the proper authorities isn’t at all surprising, given the turtle-like pace of justice in these islands, and more so if it involves the police. They do after all take care of their own.

Who cares about civilians getting caught in the crossfire as long as they do their job, right? They’re just statistics, as far as the men in uniform are concerned. They’d more likely blame the poor (and dead) civilians for being at the wrong place at the wrong time.

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On my way home yesterday a pedicab tried to cut in front of me, nearly hitting my right fender. Damn, I thought, that stupid driver of the three-wheeled contraption picked the wrong guy to piss today.

I was tired, and wanted nothing more than to rest my aching back after a long drive. A hectic day at work and an unbelievably heavy traffic have all but brought out the grumpy and irritable person in me.

I was about to press the car horn in anger (I had just recently installed a new horn, which is several decibels louder than my previous one, to be used specifically for this kind of situation) when I noticed that the pedicab guy’s knee-length shorts was slowly hiking down below his waistline, exposing almost half of his not-so-delicious-looking booty for everyone to see.

A Godawful sight indeed, but humorous nonetheless. Watching him trying in vain to pull his shorts (as well as his dignity I suppose) up — which kept slipping down anyway as his foot kicked on those pedals — was enough to calm me down a bit, and made me totally forget about my anger.

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Look ma, no undies!

Hmm, maybe I ought to give this guy my old, unusable underwears to give them a new lease on life…

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Online granny…

I can’t help but chuckle everytime I see this BayanTel DSL ad on television, about an internet savvy grandma berating her grandson for failing to “poke” her back on Facebook.

Talo pa ko ah! buti pa si lola, me Facebook account.

My hats off to the people of the advertising agency who came up with this short but effective ad that incorporates traditional Pinoy family values, albeit, in a very hilarious manner. Who says that technology related ads should be serious and boring?

I won’t be surprised if this tv ad ends up winning the PANA (Philippine Association of National Advertisers) advertisement of the year award.

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Weekend funnies…

It’s not that I don’t have anything to write or rant about, I do. I’m just finding it difficult, nay, near impossible to write anything — at least, anything that would pass off as an entry — for my weekend post.

Maybe it’s because I’m still pissed after what happened last Wednesday (read my last entry so you’d know what I’m talking about). Then again, maybe I’m just not inspired. Oh okay, that’s just another way of saying I’m too damn lazy to write today.

So, what’s a blogger to do when his muse suddenly decides to take a day off? Why, put in a filler of course! And I have just the perfect filler for the weekend… something that came in my electronic mailbox the other day courtesy of my best friend. It made made me laugh after seeing it, and God knows how much I needed to exercise those sagging facial muscles more often.

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